Against Window, Cliff Kuhn-Lloyd
Wake up. Meditate. Light the fire. Morning Ritual / Wake up. Light the fire. Meditate. Morning ritual. Water. Sunrise. Coffee. Oatmeal.
Slump? Every 15 minutes another hour passes and there doesn't seem to be enough getting done. What's on my mind? Too much. Creative work? Writing's steady. Music, not fun. Photography? Cold out, doing business & getting out later, cloudy. Business? Slow going. Submitting writing. Figuring out commerce on the site. Editing. Working on print sizes and understanding how that will work.
Can't find awesome, inspiring stuff to listen to during the day while doing business. Share music and radio programs/ good artists!
☛ News
Sold my first print to Mary Ann and Damon!
Thanks guys!!!
*Still populating the online store but any photo of mine
on the blog or website is for sale!
Contact Direct: Cliff@CliffsOcean.com
☛Voice Work
Rainer Maria Rilke
Sonnets to Orpheus, IV
Further, Cliff Kuhn-Lloyd
☛ Cliff's Notes
The Lonely Death
of George Bell
Each year around 50,000 people die in New York, some alone and
unseen. Yet death even in such forlorn form can cause a surprising
amount of activity. Sometimes, along the way, a life’s secrets are revealed.
Written by N. R. KLEINFIELD; Photographs by JOSH HANEROCT. 17, 2015
How much self reliance is too much self reliance?
George Bell lived alone. He ate alone and he spent most of his time alone. He also went to a bar. At one point he became concerned for his health so, club soda. He had a friend that he sat with at the bar and fished with, for the final 15 years of his life.
When George Bell died alone in his NY apartment, it took days for anyone to find him. After police were called because of the odor and found Belle, it took weeks to months to confirm his identity and find anyone that knew him. If you’ve ever wondered about the process for identifying the unclaimed deceased, the article covers that. It's extensive and its’ not computers that sum the legwork down to results in seconds. Real people methodically comb an area on a hunch, lead or long shot, gradually expanding the circle in hopes of getting a hit.
Nugget of wisdom to glean from an article about a lonely life? For Juan Plaza, one of the men whose job it is to comb through residences of the deceased, looking for information or valuables, it's:
"With each sunrise, may we value every minute”;
“Be kind, smile to the world and it will smile back”;
“Share your life with loved ones”; “Love, forgive, forget.”
Juan’s partner Mr. Rodriguez:
"build a life like it’s the last day.
The friend of Belle’s, that spent those fifteen years with him? “One thing about George is he didn’t get personal. Not ever.” It struck me, here’s an article on how a man lived mostly alone, died alone, was… Alone. He sat in a bar for years, with his friend who felt he never really knew him in many ways. This friend, "the Dude", is still sitting in that bar. Alone?
Man of Island, Cliff Kuhn-Lloyd
☛ Make it Special
It was a rough day. Maybe a rough couple days.
Oh, What a Night
I cleaned myself up, cleaned the place up and decided to build a fire, put some music on, prepare a nice dinner and make the night special. It'd been a couple weeks since I’d seen anyone, so I decided to make it a dinner date as well.
Table for one, no longer. You're thinking no greens. I got to shop for the month 1 time.
I’ve known Elsa for a while but the timing’s never been quite right. Last night everything just came together. She showed up and immediately I was put at ease. She’s beautiful, kind, always interested in what I have to say and a great listener. She’s quiet but it’s endearing.
Tell Me More
After a couple glasses of wine, we were having a great time and Elsa really came out of her shell. She’s got an amazing smile, a perfect pair of eyes and we really get each other. She thinks I’m hilarious. Toast to a great night.
Toast with Elsa
The only thing that could have made this night better?
Not reading that George Bell article earlier in the day.
☛ Nature Sightings
Golden Eagle
Saw this bird three times in two days. My initial thought was Golden Eagle but wondered if it could be an immature Bald Eagle? The second day it’s coloring looked whiter, there may have been two.
Goldy Tawn
Bald Eagle
The bird was no fooling around. Golden eagles can be bigger than bald eagles but this bird was definitely larger than the bird above. While Yul Brynner sat up there in the tree, a crow and two seagulls dove down at him. The seagulls stayed at 10-15 feet but the crow got pretty close. The eagle was completely unfazed, barely looked and expressed zero concern. This one seemed keenly aware of his place on the food chain.
Yul Brynner
Deer
Found myself about 30 feet from a doe and her young adult offspring. I was on the bike and somehow I caught them before they caught me. I was able to stop and put my feet on the ground. They quickly saw and smelled me but I stayed still. When they looked away I would creep closer till the looked back. We did this for a few minutes. It’s cool to watch these animals. From a design perspective it's impressive. I love old cars, new cars, speed, power and what we’ve been able to create. And here it is in a flesh and bone form, so clear. Light, long bones, tall neck, taught muscles, 310 degrees peripheral vision, two square feet of sensitive funnel shaped surface area inside the ears, a nose that’s 1,000 times more powerful than a human’s. Able to move at almost 40mph. Capable of jumping 12-15 vertical and 30 horizontal feet.
Starfish
Look, Over there, Cliff Kuhn-Lloyd
Favorite House Around Here
Whale Watcher, Cliff Kuhn-Lloyd
Seapine, Cliff Kuhn-Lloyd
☛Poetry
Further down
Small stones and shells
Turn pebbles before sand
Bits of color between Seaweed
Green
Sweet tan
Bright clean
Sticks of driftwood
Here
Sea glass collects
Sweeping lines
Tender in light
Generous texture
The breaks have quieted, their movement graceful
Slow, wide
Lines of desert sand
I walk like a key was lost
Back and forth
Careful not to miss a spot
Methodical
Hush the mind
Guide
Between the stones
To see
Little bits
Hidden purple glass
Proof in my hand
That I do
You want the words
In a way I cannot say now
I say more
But your hands are pressed tight against your head
Your eyes shut
So you cannot read my lips
Emotions you don’t expect to live together
Frustrate you
Love and lack
And if the question exists than maybe it isn’t
I know
Life for me has slowed
Graciously
The need to know eased
I took a walk
And spent some time sitting
That is my work
That is most important
For me
That is my art
I couldn’t promise the white of forever, still
Only that moments stretched long enough for me to lay inside them
And watch some of the water I love
In your arms
I didn’t need to speak
While our souls were close
The first leaves were falling
Red and sweet
Into the sky
The forest spoke
And my need to know was eased.
Love rocks, Cliff Kuhn-Lloyd
In many ways I don't want my time here to end. It's a million times better than what I've been doing. The only thing is the isolation. I love my solitude but without an outlet to step out of that zone, isolation can become oppressive.
Financial aside for the moment, I feel like I can deal with the ups and downs of this life. I enjoy working here and that my problems are what they are for now. When I go outside and take a deep breath and look at this nature, it touches a deeper part of me. Even when I'm in a down mood, it's a reminder of something bigger and better, a place of beauty inside. Can I afford it? Will it provide for me? Musicians, Poets, Writers, Photographers are a dime a dozen. Is what I want to sit and write? Am I ready for that? Am I done with the rest of it? Does it need to be one or the other? Can I do both? Yes.
The spiritualness and meditation of this life are important to me. I have little interest in being around a lot of aspects of our culture. From the woods to Hollywood. When I'm somewhere I'm not digging I always think, if I'm here there must be somebody else here with some of the same center. I have to get better at spotting them. It keeps me thinking though, why not find somewhere there's many people like you? I'm an outsider here but could see not being one in a relatively short time. I like the way people operate here. They see you and raise a hand or say hello, it feels genuine. No one's in your business though, people for the most part let you alone and are doing what they do. They're curious but not invasive. And there's the feeling that if you need help, people are around. What's missing is that feeling that a space needs to be filled. It's nice.
What Did I Do Today?
(These Days)
-Walking
-Thinking
-Submitted poetry to seven publishers
-Sold my first print!
-Saw eagles and starfish and deer
-Spent time along the shores looking at sea glass and shells
-Wrote at least six short stories
-Wrote at least five poems
-Talked to Dave at voiceover company
-Worked with Hoyin on print sizes. (Hoyin killed it)
-Meditated every day
-Morning Ritual everyday
-Went back outside after I had gone in, to see more sunset and moon
-Built fires every day
-Did pull ups
-Tried at music
-Setup commerce and opened shop (need to populate)
-Read a bunch of articles
-Wrote article response
-Cleaned house
-Picked out images for postcards and calendar
-Ordered sample cards
-Ordered Moo materials packet
-Read Voiceover
-Filmed
-Took Photos
-Edited Photos
-Read
The Conversation/ World for Two, Cliff Kuhn-Lloyd